Woke at 3 am. It was too hot. Turned on the air con that I spent yesterday clearing a path from my ex-office through to my bedroom window so that I could hook it up. It's a big MF and takes a lot of space. Although it is on wheels it is heavy and difficult to move.
Thought 1: Do I really need all this stuff and why do I have to get rid of it? Haven't I done enough sacrificing for other people? Or am I just kidding myself?
4 am and it finally cools down enough to try to get back to sleep. But I am still tossing and turning at 5 am so I turn on a movie I know by heart with the sound off so I don't disturb other people in the house.
Finally wake groggy at 8:30. My hips hurt. So far my knees and hands are ok but my head feels full of snot from the heat and I have a headache. Got a lot of brain fog this morning and when my son leaves for work an hour later he asks what am I doing today - I honestly can't remember. I look at my calendar. I can't function now without one. Used to be I would know what my plans were and what I promised people I'd do - now it's all just a blank page. It's in writing that I am supposed to go into town to close a bank account, but it's too hot and I work out a way to start the process from home today. Will probably need to make an appointment with the bank manager anyway. (excellent diversion tactic.)
It's now 11:45 and I have chased a writer about this week's article. Done the mail and checked all the social media accounts. Well half of them anyway. There's more violence on the news and I have a two-second rant on how I wish people would stop shoving coconut oil in my face as the thing that will fix me/everything. My knees now hurt as do my hands and my spine is on fire. Medium heat. Still not dressed yet. I've had this idea to write out what a week feels like for a fibromyalgia sufferer for a while. Even though my kids are now adults, I don't think I want them reading this. Going to find some clothes and possibly wear/wash them. Possibly in that order.
13:46 Only managed to get one task done. My eyes are burning and the brain fog isn't clearing. I am partially dressed; shorts and a sports bra. It's too damned hot for a top until absolutely necessary - like answering the door to the postie. Mind you he is used to me in pjs so even partial dressing is a cause for celebration. Have decided the best use of me time is to clear my office as it is now too hot to have the computer on lest I melt the motherboard.
That time of day when the pain really sets in 15:00 - on holiday I would be hitting the sangria but I am trying to work so one 500 paracetamol table. Hoping it will knock the pain back enough to concentrate.
16:20 out of nowhere I am crying. Fuck this shit.
I worked until 17:30 when the heat hit my office and the fan would not cope. Getting up from my chair was a slow process.
Its 22:00 now an struggleing for the past two hours to stay awake for the dog. She goes to bed now but it is finally cool and she just wants to play. Can't make her sad by putting her to bed this early and if i go to sleep now I will wake at some ungoddesly hour of the predawn and not be able to get back to sleep.